Meet Cute? Nah, Try Meet Fuck!

• Floss
• 1
• on Jan 05, 2023

Once upon a time there lived a man who was young, handsome and lived a rich and full life. What he longed for more than anything though was a fair maiden to share his time with. He waited and waited and one day he knew fate had intervened and would be sending him his true love.

Twas the day of his Father’s wedding, to his step-mother. No, she was not wicked, it’s not that kind of fairytale. She was actually lovely and had invited friends from all across the land to attend the celebrations and our handsome man knew and would tell anyone who would listen that he was going to meet his wife on this very day.

He was mocked by his peers, who, assuming he had seen the guest list, asked which fair maiden in attendance he was choosing to wed. Alas, he did not know, he simply knew, in his gut, that when he saw her he would know. 

The day went on and on and his friends were laying the jokes on thick as every fair maiden they suggested was met with ‘nope, not the one’. It got to the first dance of the bride and groom and even our young protagonist was starting to waiver in his belief. Then it happened … 

Through a door that led directly onto the dance floor, a door that she absolutely shouldn’t have used, stepped the woman he knew would become his wife. He turned to his friends and said ‘that’s her, that my future wife’ and they all burst out laughing with a chorus of ‘dude, are you for real?’ He was, very much, for real.

He was young, charismatic, good with kids and in demand for conversation with the young and the old. So he couldn’t immediately rush to ask for the fair maiden’s hand. She saw him though. On the dance floor with his young cousins, incredibly handsome and effortlessly cool. She wasn’t there looking for a date though, so she thought nothing more about it.

In truth, she shouldn’t have been there at all. Her Mother was the one with the invite. She had told the fair maiden she wouldn’t attend, her back was sore, the drive would be too uncomfortable. Our fair maiden stepped in and told her Mother she should not miss her friend’s wedding and she would drive her to the event. It just so happens that the young man’s step-mother had known the fair maiden her whole life. She had known the fair maiden’s mother for about 25 years at that point.

Eventually that bad back got the better of the fair maiden’s mother and they left for home. The tragedy being they left before the handsome man could ask her to join him for dinner one evening. Before his Step-Mother left on her honeymoon he drove her mad trying to find the fair maiden’s telephone number. When she finally realised who he was describing he was given a stark warning. This fair maiden was not to be messed with and not to be hurt. But the truth of the matter was that of all the women he could have chosen this one was the cutest in terms of a good story.

The fair maiden’s mother was his new step-brother’s godmother. The links between their two families made the whole thing quite adorable. Add to that his belief she would become his wife, which she absolutely did and the whole thing was the very definition of ‘meet cute’. By the time his Father and Step-Mother returned from their honeymoon two weeks the handsome young man and the fair maiden were very much a couple and that was how they remained …

Okay, sadly that’s the end of the fairytale. If you haven’t guessed I was the fair maiden. My ex-husband was the handsome young man. We had a good ten year run before we parted ways and even our ‘meet cute’ couldn’t keep us together.

I think a lot of stock is put into the first meeting. The whole, ‘oooh how did you meet’ and the inevitable excitement if you have a fun story to tell, or the deflated ‘oh, that’s nice’ if you simply met at work. I remember a past colleague once confiding in me that she hadn’t actually met her partner in the way she explained. They’d met online but dating sites were relatively new at the time and it was ‘weird’ to find a partner that way. So they made up a ‘meet cute’.

Thankfully we’ve moved on from having to lie about meeting online, but everyone still loves a good story. I suppose that’s good or no one would read our blogs, essentially that’s why people visit us, right? A good story? With that in mind here is the story of how I met Mr F. 

I actually don’t remember the first time I met Mr F. It was at work. I was a chef and he was an assistant manager at the same restaurant. We must have worked together countless times before the switch turned on in my head that made me pursue him. 

One day on an early morning shift he told me he’d split up with his girlfriend. He was okay, but a bit down from all the upheaval it brought. After that he definitely became a little more outgoing, he was looking to live the single life but was not looking for a girlfriend. He told me about dates he went on and somewhere along the lines I realised I needed to find a way to fuck him.

I flirted, I plotted, and I engineered our first encounter quite marvelously. All the while I was not even on his radar. Not until I was in his bed, did he consider me an option. Our story isn’t ‘meet cute’, he wanted to get laid, I offered myself up as an easy, easy choice for some sexy fun and that was that. I don’t think either of us imagined or planned for it to be a love story. Just some casual fucking until one, or both of us, moved on.

Here we are though over three years later, still fucking, but also absolutely enamoured with each other, with a beautiful 18 month old and lots of wonderful plans to spend a very long time together. While our start may not not be ‘meet cute’ it’s a start that served us very well. 

It took six months from us starting to fuck, to becoming an official couple. We’d very much been an unofficial couple for at least a couple of months before that. The casual start gave us a lot of time to find out about each with no pressure or expectations. Mr F could tell me he wanted kids but didn’t want to get married, and I didn’t need to decide on the spot whether or not I was okay with that, because he wasn’t telling a girlfriend he was just telling this cool chick he fucked. I could be very clear that despite coming from non-monogamy I wasn’t looking for that again. I could outline exactly what I wanted from a future relationship without him needing to feel like I was giving him instructions on how he needed to be. 

The time we took simply sharing our hopes and dreams with each other gave us an excellent friendship and that blossomed into something more and I’m not really sure what is cuter than that. So maybe they won’t be making a rom-com about our relationship but I actually feel a lot more secure and confident about our future knowing how we began. 

A ‘meet cute’ might seem like the perfect beginning but I wouldn’t trade our ‘meet fuck’ for anything. It was the perfect start for what has turned out to be a beautiful relationship.