Chemistry? Soul Mates? Or Just Good Luck?
- on Feb 20, 2023
I am writing this almost immediately off the back of reading a Girl on the Net post about decade sex, which you should absolutely go and read before you continue with my post.
Interestingly, well interesting to me, she published that post the day after I’d had awesome sex with Mr F. Awesome not because it was fancy, or different to normal, just awesome because it felt so fucking good. Now, our sex life has always been good, it always felt amazing and in terms of content and technique not much has changed. In fact, because of children and schedules we have less varied and less frequent sex than we did in the beginning, but holy shit the quality just keeps increasing.
I pondered where to ask around on my socials today to see if anyone else had experienced this because I never have. I was in one relationship for 10 years, another for almost five years and in most cases the sex just dwindled to nothing and/or never improved. I honestly kept waiting for that to happen to us, especially during and after my pregnancy but instead I keep getting caught off guard by yet another great fuck, that was somehow better than the last.
Now, we haven’t been together for decades. In fact, we haven’t even been together half a decade, we’ve only been fucking for three and a half years and officially romantic partner for theee years. It truly feels like I’ve known Mr F forever though and not in a detail oriented way where we know everything about each other kind of forever, but in a two souls giving each other a high five kind forever like they’ve done this dance of life together before.
Maybe it’s chemistry, maybe it’s previous lives, maybe it’s just a totally random occurrence but when I read GOTN’s post I got it. I felt like I had some weird knowledge of what she was talking about, my body seemed to be shouting ‘YES!! That’s why it’s so fucking good’ and I had to have a word with myself because the time frame does not add up for us to be experiencing the beautiful benefits of decade sex.
So I pondered some more and wondered if perhaps it’s the foundations for decade sex that is creating all the awesomeness. Maybe this is how it starts, or maybe people who’ve been together decades are reading this and thinking I’m an absolute twat and this isn’t what’s going on at all. Perhaps they’ll tell me it’s just the honeymoon period, but I’m 38 and this isn’t my first rodeo, I know my honeymoon period ended long ago.
I know because in the honeymoon period Mr F’ could eat right beside me and it didn’t trigger my misophonia. Now, I often want to jab him in the neck for eating so loudly. FYI he eats at a normal volume it’s my ears and brain that has the issue. He also irritates me by forgetting to scrape food off the plates before he washes them, so the sink gets clogged. We don’t live in a bubble of perfection and even the sex ebbs and flows.
Sometimes it doesn’t hit exactly the same, often we have to laugh our way through the endless interruptions (here interruptions = cats), we can’t always woo each other, sometimes it’s literally a case of, quick let’s get to it before nap time is over, often we can’t take too much time and I have to remind him not to dilly dally with the fingering (which I love by the way) or he’ll never get to come. We certainly couldn’t make money off our sex life, it’s not going to take the amateur section of pornhub by storm. But fuuuuck, it takes my breath away on a regular basis and I’m just baffled as to how I got so lucky.
Another reason I wonder if this all pointing towards being the kind of relationship that could not only last decades but continue being awesome for decades is the fact Mr F’s desire to fuck me has not decreased as my body has changed over the last few years. I can absolutely guarantee that previous partners would not be into my current righteous form. They’d be missing out because clearly whatever my body has going on right now makes Mr F come unexpectedly if he doesn’t pay proper attention (which of course I love, but that’s a post for another day).
I also can’t imagine not being together and I’ve never had that before. With previous partners I could imagine what I’d do if I was single, or how I’d navigate life if we parted ways, but with Me F I actually can’t fathom what that would look like, my brain seems to malfunction if I try to imagine 10 years ahead without him. It’s actually quite bizarre because as I say, I’ve never had that happen, even when I was married, which I absolutely thought would last forever at the time of saying I Do. I don’t even mean if he left me I’d crumble to the ground and be incapable of living. I’m too damn stubborn for that. I’d absolutely find a way to move on if he ditched me, I know I can survive without him, but in every fibre of my being I just don’t feel like that’s a possibility I need to imagine. (Yes I know there are outside forces that can remove people from our lives but I’m not going to dwell on those and depress myself, so I’m talking about our own choices only situations here.)
I suppose if I believed in one true love, I’d think Mr F was mine, I don’t believe in that though, I think there are lots of possible loves out there for us and our choices along the way can lead us to different opportunities. I do believe in soul connections though, people who we are destined to meet over and over again, which I also don’t think is limited to one person or romantic partners. I also to some degree believe in fate/destiny although I don’t believe destiny leads us on a linear journey. More like a choose your own adventure book, where at each fork in the road our choice of direction dictates what destiny we follow.
I could be wrong though, on all counts, only time will tell and even if I’m wrong I’m still getting excellent fucking with a guy I absolutely adore, so I count that as a win for whatever reason it’s happening.