Tell Me I’m Good At Being Bad
- on Apr 22, 2023
When I saw that both the Revelations and KOTW were praise related I thought I’d easily be able write a blog post for them, I thought maybe even a bit of erotica, but to my surprise the words just wouldn’t come and I think the reason I was struggling is I don’t have a desire to be praised with traditionally affirming language.
Perhaps surprisingly I have never given this much thought, I assumed that alongside many other people I’d love to be on the receiving end of a ‘good girl’ comment, from the right person that is. In reality though I don’t think it works for me and I can’t believe I’ve never realised it before. Though when I review my past relationships it makes sense why this revelation didn’t come sooner.
I was exceptionally well behaved growing up and this continued well into adulthood. I didn’t like being out of favour, or disappointing people so I always did what was expected of me and eventually this seemed to stifle me and I rebelled against all kinds of expectations in dramatic fashion. This was well into my late twenties, and all at once my marriage ended and I began my journey into kink.
I can think of a few dominant types I’ve met along the way who would have been inclined to call me a good girl had I done something to please them and the thought of them doing so makes me scrunch my face up in displeasure. I know I would have reacted exactly the same back then too. Interestingly they never did say it though, so either I wasn’t pleasing them enough, which is a possibility or they were intuitive enough to know it wouldn’t be my thing, also a possibility.
Even with Mr F, I wonder if a good girl would hit the right spot and I’m not sure it would. It definitely wouldn’t make me pull the ‘ugh, no thanks’ face but it probably wouldn’t have the puddle inducing effect that it does for some of you. Which by the way I love reading about, I’m definitely not against praise as a kink, or praise phrases in erotica, it’s just that in practice it doesn’t seem to be what I’m about.
I’d much rather be reminded that I’m filthy, dirty, wanton. Am I a good girl for buying a skirt like he wanted, so he can have easy access in the summer. Yes, yes I am. What I’d love to hear though is how desperate that makes me for his attention, it’s still affirming but it’s affirming the parts of me that haven’t always been acknowledged or appreciated in the way they should be.
I know I’m good at being well behaved, I’ve had a lifetime to practise it but I was a late bloomer when it came to being a perverted deviant and I want to know I’m good at that too. I want to hear that I’m the best kind of bad girl, I spent months fucking Mr F in secret because it was ‘forbidden’ by our previous manager and I loved that he fully embraced my role as deviant seductress and told me just how naughty I was for screwing a manager.
He’s also younger (not by loads, just under 8 years, but it’s enough for it to sexy) and in his own words ‘completely vanilla’, so it absolutely felt like a rebellion when I made it my mission to fuck him. There was definitely a thrill in bringing him over to the dark side whilst breaking the rules and even now, approaching four happy years of fuckery together it’s a narrative I still very much enjoy.
Not that I have to be a good girl, I know I could be praised with more colourful language, shall we say, but even then I don’t think it would land as well as pointing out what an wanton deviant I am, especially when it comes to fucking him. He makes me feel like the naughtiest, sluttiest most sexually needy girl there ever was and those are things I want to hear about. I really do want to be told that I’m excellent at being a bad girl.