Making Time For Sex
- on Oct 19, 2023
As parents of a toddler, time is something we talk about a lot. Especially when it comes to making time for sex. Luckily we rarely say there is no time, instead it’s about making time or sometimes stealing time.
Recently we’ve discovered that screen time and a delicious snack allows us just enough time for a super quickie. I’m sure some would argue that this is terrible parenting but I’d argue that having two happily loved up parents is great parenting and even those stolen moments where the aim is to finish as quickly as possible keep us close and wrapped in our little love bubble.
In previous relationships I’ve definitely felt the adverse effects that lack of intimacy can have. To be clear for me this does include sexual activities, but I by no means think it has to mean that for everyone.
I’ve been the person who couldn’t make time. The idea of sex instead of sleep was often too exhausting to contemplate and because I wasn’t being wooed in quite the way I needed, making time for sex often didn’t feel worth it.
I’ve also felt like I needed to make time, or spend more time on someone, when they couldn’t or wouldn’t offer the same. Oh, you want a nice long slut fueled blow job? No problem, could we spend some time making out like horny teenagers to get me going then? No? Oh, well then I guess I don’t have time for a blow job! I had that literal conversation many, many times with one partner. They never got how spending time on some really simple and easy stuff would absolutely have me making time for sex.
Mr F has proven this to be true. He kisses me well and often, not just when he wants sex. He makes sure I feel loved, appreciated and desired. The result being I am always looking for a moment to get him naked, because I always want to feel close to him and it doesn’t get much closer than fucking.
There’s also been times I did put a lot of time in. When I rarely said no. I pushed through tiredness or not really feeling it. I dressed up, made plans, executed the plans and didn’t ask for enough of what I wanted during the time we had together. Or wasn’t bold enough to branch out and find what I needed elsewhere, which would have been acceptable but I just didn’t want to rock the boat.
So when I met Mr F I wanted it to be different. I wanted to make sure our time together was serving us both well. I didn’t want sex to be a chore for either of us. The thought of making time for sex being annoying rather than exciting also didn’t appeal to me. I don’t necessarily think those viewpoints from time to time spell the end of every relationship, but I know for certain that feeling that way for a prolonged period of time spells the end of my relationships and I just don’t want to be dealing with that again.
Thankfully Mr F and I seem to have a relationship I’ve never encountered before (personally, I’ve definitely seen it in other couples) and our time together and as a family is never anything but joyful. It’s not always exciting, it’s not always filled with all the things we’d like, but simply spending time together is a huge blessing and something to enjoy.
It has to be said though that naked time together is a joint favourite. We have fond memories of our early days together where time for sex felt endless, we’d go for literal hours, sleep wasn’t remotely important and somehow my cunt didn’t fall off or get indefinitely chaffed from overuse! Mr F regularly marvels at how he had the stamina for it all, I have to admit it was and still is impressive.
Lockdown too brought us many, many happy hours of nakedness. Multiple times a day nakedness was quite common. It feels horrid to admit because the reason for the lockdowns was absolutely tragic for so many people, but what lockdown brought us was time together that we wouldn’t normally have had. So we did make the most of a bad situation.
All that sex led to a baby in my belly though and alas here we are fucking at the speed of light and thinking half an hour is an epic session. But I wouldn’t change a single second of our time together. I will however keep praying to the sex gods that we get to have plenty of naked time in the days, months and years to come.
Random additional thought from Mastodon …
My featured image is one I shared on my Mastodon earlier today. It also made me think about how time changes things. I will blog about this further but once upon a time I would have been mortified if even a hint of pubic hair had made it into an image and partners definitely didn’t see me with any kind of bush. But now I never shave my pubic hair and that is just how I come.